Why or why not?
If so, would it depend on how they present or their assigned gender at birtb or something else?
(Edit: fixed AGAB to confuse less people. Sorry people.)
To be fair, I don’t think I would date someone whose whole personality is just their gender…
Aside from that - depends who they are, how they behave etc.
This is a messy but interesting question to sort my thoughts on. First, I did date a non-binary person for a couple years and ended things on good terms. I’m AMAB, they’re AFAB on testosterone. I’ll admit I felt a little weird as their transition took effect over time with thicker leg hair and a peach fuzz mustache.
Second, I’ve considered myself a sex-positive asexual person since I learned the term, so I’m not certain I should be answering this. I’ve always been confused when someone is called hot, but I like the mental/emotional intimacy and physical touch of sex. I’ve come to realize recently that I’d probably be okay being intimate with a woman or feminine partner with a dick, but since I would like to have kids some day it wouldn’t really work for a romantic relationship.
Third, that partner has half-jokingly said that you have to be a little gay to date them, so I don’t know that any person that would date a non-binary person can call themself 100% straight, which means technically nobody should be answering this question at all :P
Ace enby lesbian here. I generally feel the same way. I’m attracted to femininity, equipment really doesn’t factor into how I feel about a woman. Or about femme-presenting people in general. I just think girls are pretty.
As long as their physical anatomy was identical to my gender of choice, yes.
If we talk the same language and there is the spark of interest, I don’t see why not. non-binary is all about breaking these barriers, correct?
If that’s how they introduced themselves. No.
If I found this out on the 3rd or 4th date during a casual, related conversation. Sure.
As someone with a non-binary partner I feel obligated to answer. Sure, I don’t really care what they were born as, as long as they’re polite and actually love me, I don’t really care if they’re non-binary or a woman (I could be biased though since I never dated a non-binary person who was birthed a male, my non-binary partner was born a woman so I don’t really know)
Yeah, if we were into each other. How they present and their AGAB matching my own preferences would be a factor.
But at the end of the day, my “straightness” is just a convenient label. If someone gets voted in by the Tribunal (Heart, Mind, and Cock), all labels are ultimately superfluous.
Blessed are we who serve Hemico.
Well, that shorthand just made it into the lexicon
Can we make it a sect of Pastafarianism, or would that get too weird too fast, with the appendages and all? 🤷🏽♂️ Regardless, this notion’s got rhythm and it yearns to be shared with the world. 🤘🏼
HeMiCo, in all things. This is the way.
Heart, mind and cock. Beautiful.
Depends if they have a pussy. In general most non-binary people I’ve met haven’t been particularly androgynous. Which is one of the reasons they confuse me.
But yeah if they’ve got the body type I enjoy and a good personality then sure. No way I could make a universal statement though.
Yep. There’s a general confusion between gender identity and gender expression, that’s why you “expect” non-binary to look androgynous. But indeed, a nonbinary can have a cisman-passing or a ciswoman-passing. I am non-binary and I “look like a man” and it causes me to be insulted or mocked when I go out with makeup or wearing a skirt.
But yeah basically all you need to understand is that gender identity does not have to match a gender expression.
Ok apparently I’m more ignorant than I thought lol thanks for explaining.
No. I am very much a CIS only kind of guy. Now would I abuse them or be mean? No. But sexual attraction is all about preferences. As a black guy here, will I be offended because some women do not want to date a black man? No. Their preference. Same here.
Does the reason why they don’t want to date a black man matters?
Yes and no.
How so? Could you give some examples of reasons that would and reasons that wouldn’t matter? I’m not sure what these would be, but something tells me that we might find the reason for someone’s preference against NB might be similarly important as someone’s preference to not date a black man 🤔
Matters: they won’t date black people because they think black people aren’t people.
Doesn’t matter: they’re just not sexually attracted to black people.
Like, I’m not interested in Hispanic women. Not because I have an issue with Hispanic people, but because the physical features common to the ethnicity don’t do it for me.
Probably not, because I’m generally not attracted to biological males as they usually don’t have the physical attributes I find attractive. Sure, feminine attributes can be achieved through surgery, drugs and makeup, but I’d prefer a natural woman and since there is that choice, that’s what I’d prefer.
Before you get upset, know that this is my honest opinion. I’ll respect you however you identify and will happily hang out with anyone. And I’m sure i’d find some non-binary folk physically attractive, but as I have a choice and I’m a cis hetro then that’s my answer.
no idea why someone would get upset about that, but clearly someone already did. you don’t have to be attracted to everyone, preferences are allowed. if you were asexual, would everyone get mad?
because people are fragile egotistical jerks who think nobody else has the right to not be attracted to them.
I’ve been on many dates where the woman wasn’t into me, and then get upset/offended I wasn’t into her, because HOW COULD I NOT BE INTO HER SHE IS SO AMAZING. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME IF I AM NOT SUPER INTO HER. It’s sadly common.
My favorite is a few people en who dumped me and I wasn’t really that into them, so NBD. But they broke out into tears and crying and screaming because they wanted me to be upset and it was ‘rude’ and ‘offensive’ to them that I wasn’t desperately crying and and I just that I just let them go ‘so easily’.
A lot of people are incredibly selfish and messed up in the head.
broke out into tears and crying and screaming because they wanted me to be upset
Luckily for me, this was how my first LTR ended. I was completely floored by their 180, but I noped out instead of taking the bait, and that experience saved my ass more than a few times in the years that followed.
It’s some real bullshit behavior, but I feel like I might’ve lucked out learning that lesson so early. Pretty telling that so many haven’t yet grown past that early developmental stage, and some never do. 🤌🏼
No thanks, I only date my wife.
Same, I only date her too
Good luck!
That sounds like it would only work if the straight person can easily interpret the non-binary person as “basically like a cis man/woman just with different pronouns”, and the non-binary person either has the same set of genitals that you’d expect based on their appearance, or the straight person just doesn’t care about unexpected genitals, which seems rare.
But I’m bi, so I wouldn’t know.
“Unexpected genitals” sounds like you find them between their shoulder blades
Lol, the whole ‘non-binary’ thing is so weird to me, since I like the lads and the lassies. As long as they tick the attractive boxes, like confident, smart, and being into me, it’s like getting a christmas morning present every time I wake up next to them.
It’s not well-defined or anything. It’s basically a wastebin kind of classification, as in ‘oh I’m not this or that, so i guess I’m non-binary’.
It also acts as a holding space for people who haven’t figured our who they want to be.
in my interactions iwth non-binary people, there are a lot of them who seem to be into that classification of themselves as some sort of ‘fighting the patriarchy’ or ‘refusing to be labeled’ type of teenage rebellion attitude stuff. also a lot of poly, alt, kink, etc lifestyle folks, at least on my dating apps.
I know plenty of gay women who are into gock, so why don’t straight men like gock?
Gock?
Gock is girl cock
Ah, thanks
Toxic masculinity, heteronormativity etc.
That makes sense, masculinity is the main thing straight men have that gay women don’t. And if it’s stopping them from enjoying themselves, it sounds toxic.
Some straight men do like gock.
My husband is one of them.
I hope you both have fun pegging him organic style
For better or worse, I’m a cis bisexual woman so the usual pegging is what we’ve got. I love the term “organic style pegging” though hahah
But he really does enjoy gock and he really is straight.
Straight guy here. As long as they have the body parts I’m interested in and plan on keeping them, I don’t care what gender they align with.
Are you really interested in body parts only? Like (I suppose you’re a straight man), a man with a beard and muscles but with a vagina would turn you on?
They wouldn’t really be non-binary if they’ve undergone gender affirming care.
Point of order - non-binary people sometimes medically transition. We might not choose all the options to swap to a full binary presentation but target things which cause us duress.
Non-binary is under the trans umbrella though not every Non-binary person identifies as trans. There are political enbies or people who see their ambivalence towards gender and sex characteristics entirely as being an expression of a Non-binary experience while others experience the same euphoria/dysphoria to their natal sex characteristics that binary trans people do but desire more of an absence of all sex characteristics or a mix of male and female phenotypic traits.
Your statement in effect only describes a fraction of Non-binary people.
They could be. Transitioning doesnt stop them from choosing to identify with a non-binary gender.
Are you thinking of intersex? Even in that scenario, I don’t believe that statement applies.
Then no, I wouldn’t be with them if they’ve transitioned. That’s part of the “keeping the parts I’m attracted to”.
In all honesty I don’t think I could handle it and I’d become toxic in some way eventually just because I probably couldn’t ever understand my partner to a level where I could consider them my partner.
… If that makes any damn sense
Depends more on their biological sex, not what they identify as.
