I have a moment to reply to you now, so hopefully this will suffice:

I’m actually not only talking about transwomen vs bio women. I’m also talking about transmen vs bio men. I’m especially concerned about combat sports and similar where people could get seriously hurt due to a physical advantage/disadvantage. There are definitely sports where the skills needed aren’t depending on gender in the same way as others, but for me it’s always been about making sure that everybody has a fair chance and is safe. In disciplines where that isn’t an issue, I don’t care. I only care where there the advantages/disadvantages are a factor.

I also think I need to clear up that I don’t run around talking about trans people in sports all the time. To the best of my memory, I only brought up in the thread where I was permabanned from most of Lemmy because the thread claimed that all people who hold the opinion about trans people in pro sports are MAGA and I wanted to share that, that wasn’t always the case. I never really got to explain myself, just got labeled and banned and that was my main point in my original comment about how extreme Lemmy is and how difficult it is to foster a healthy debate forum when people are just as, if not more aggressive here than they were on reddit.

I’m not “unwilling to educate myself”. I just shared an opinion once and brought it up here as an example of how Lemmy is a terrible place for people to have talks and diverse opinions.

To me, it isn’t so much the opinions people have on here that disgusts me, it’s the way they communicate and debate. It is on an infantile level and it almost always in bad faith. That was my point in my original comment.

I frankly don’t give a damn what people do with their lives as long as they are happy and safe.

Also, I didn’t know you were trans and it doesn’t really change much for me either. I simply don’t agree that my view - not views - was transphobic. It may be uneducated since it’s not a topic I know everything about, but for something to be transphobic, it implies actively wanting to hurt and exclude trans people from society. You’re not gonna find me stating either anywhere.

I believe the most productive way to open people’s minds to the world isn’t to immediately go on the offensive and assume the worst about them when they say something that makes you go “Hm, I didn’t like that.” Most of the time it forces people into a very defensive position and closes them off from the points you’re trying to make and that is unfortunate.

I’m guilty of that myself, but I work on it and always try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they no longer deserve it. The latest example we had in the community I hail from was a guy who became increasingly unhinged in his views and we tried talking to him until the admin had to ban him when he crossed the line and started arguing for lynchings. The first couple of months he just seemed to have some unpopular opinions that we tried to understand where he was coming from and in the end he just turned out to be nuts, which is a shame. I know the cultures are different in different communities here, but I do like it best when we try and understand one another and not carry over the social engineering the big tech bros instilled in us to be hostile and trigger happy toward everyone we meet online. That is why I left mainstream social media. I want a social media where people can actually connect and see each other as human beings underneath one opinion you or I or they don’t like.

Because I’m pretty sure most of us are pretty chill and friendly people when we aren’t stuck in that loop of aggressive communication.

I have to dip again, but I hope some of my novel here helped give some context.

I hope you have a nice and way less busy day than me @,@

Sure, as long as it is safe for everybody. My main concern is combat sports where I don’t know if trans men and biological women wold be safe against an opponent who has been born with male musculature.

That is not the same as me wanting trans people to have no rights at all. It’s not black and white.

You called me a liberal. That must mean you’re talking through the American lens. You’re acting obtuse and aggressive for no reason. I feel no need to converse with you any further.

First of all, the original thread that caused me the ban was suggesting that all people who were critical of trans people in pro sports were MAGA. I shared my view point in order to disprove that notion. I’m very well aware that there are MAGA people with crazy views who make up crazy scenarios and that’s why I mostly don’t bother talk about the trans people in sports issue because that is not what is important right now.

All I wanted to do with my original comment, was to show that not everyone who question this specific issue is MAGA and that it is silly to claim so.

Second of all, where did I ever claim to want to take trans people’s rights away? Please stop putting words in my mouth.

Third of all, I am not a liberal and I’m not American. You couldn’t know that, but not every person on the internet is American nor do they live their lives through the American lens. That is also why lumping people like me in with MAGA is not only stupid, it is also a self report on how limited a scope one has on the nuances of perspectives people can have outside in the world and outside the US.

Same to you, my friend 🤗

Happens everytime. I will say, though, that the people criticizing my comments here are pretty chill and normal compared to some of the batshit insanity I was met with early on when I joined Lemmy. So if anything, this is an improvement.

Just a heads up, it’s been a busy day and I’ll have an even busier day tomorrow, but I’ll try and reply to your comment when I have a moment to collect my thoughts. :)

That and also being agnostic, which I am as well. Holy shit the hatred both religious and atheist people have for the agnostics. Religion and politics really pushed me far away from most ideologies where groupthink is required for you to be accepted and total intellectual obedience is a demand. I have seen a bit of everything at this point in my life and I don’t want to be anywhere near groups like that.

I fully disagree with you there on my views being transphobic. If so, then the bar is in hell for what should and shouldn’t be considered transphobia. I reserve such term for actual oppression and hatred of a group where the hater actively wants to remove their ability to partake in society. It’s also not sexist to not have men and women box each other in a boxing ring, but instead keep them separated for safety and fairness.

I don’t mind disagreeing with people on different issues, but I resent whenever someone throws a label on their opponent instead of trying to talk about the issue in good faith. The rhetoric you use is a good example of why people can’t talk about anything with one another anymore without extremism being brought into it. It’s unproductive, fuels division among people who are otherwise likeminded and it creates echo chambers where no one ever has their views challenged. That is not the way if we want a normal and balanced society where everybody can talk with one another in good faith.

Good, I’ll put my gun away now.

I was once permabanned on a couple of subreddits I had never visited before because I had commented on a thread in a sub they apparently didn’t like. It was called Kotaku and I had never heard of it before. Just saw a movie thread and commented because I love movies. The thing I hated the most about reddit was the expectation that everybody were as terminally online as the mods were. Not my fault a sub pops up in my feed and I decide to comment on the topic.

Was likewise permabanned from the true childfree subreddit for making a post where I wanted to talk to people about the thoughts and doubts that comes with being childfree. I was going through some things at the time and just wanted to talk to likeminded people. Permabanned for “trolling”.

And finally was permabanned for racism on a sub where the topic was the little mermaid remake and I mentioned that I thought Halle Bailey deserved better than to work for Disney. Had followed her and her sister’s youtube channel on/off since 2014 and really liked their voices and I didn’t want a young artist to be chewed up and spit out by one of the worst entertainment companies ever. I still love her and Chloe’s cover of Say Something and think it is better than the original.

So yeah, sometimes you get permabanned for literally no reason or a made up reason. I had no sad feelings when I left reddit. I absolutely hated the mods on most subs. None of them seemed to have lived in the real world for years.

I agree as long as you agree with me.

I don’t feel the need to change my views. I think the problem is that on reddit and Lemmy and most other places on the internet these days, there is only room for one valueset and depending where you are, you either have to agree with all the most extreme rightwing opinions or the most extreme leftwing opinions, else you are labeled whatever they see as evil.

I don’t feel the need to adopt the doctrine and join the church of the extreme right or the extreme left to be seen as a “wholly good” person.

My experience on Lemmy as very milque toast center left person has been pretty horrible so far, ngl. I hadn’t even been here two weeks before I had to block most instances and several insane users who accused me of being a fascist for having the most normal, basic bitch takes. Something as simple as “I’m looking for non political instances because all this angry politics is exhausting and it is bleeding into everything on here” is apparently fascism.

The rest of Lemmy blocked me for transphobia because I suggested that trans men and trans women have their own categories in professional sports in order to make it more equal and safe for everybody.

I’m really only still here because I like the Danish feddit and enjoy popping in on the ADHD meme forum to chat with likeminded chaotics.

The rest of this whole network of forums feels like I’m walking on even more eggshells than I did the on reddit.

Should probably check out some of my local ones and see what they have. Thanks for your comment! 🤗

For me: the internet. The internet has done what my country has done and that’s centralization. Collecting everybody in a few big cities and subsequently killed small villages, towns and communities. Ironically, in the case of my government, it was done to save money and in the case of the internet, it was done to make money.

I also enjoyed my time during the years I was taking my degree. The friendships and fun hangouts, the way we helped one another and accepted one another and learned tolerance and humility. I remember that I actively participated in as many things as possible while I was studying, because I wanted as few regrets as possible when I graduated and the next phase of life started. I’m so happy I had the pressence of mind to think of that and take advantage of my time with these people while I still had the chance, because this current phase of life is a lot more slow paced and there isn’t much in terms of socializing because everyone is working and are making babies these years. I don’t mind that those years ended and that we are here now. It was good while it lasted, but I do think that if it had lasted any longer than it did, it would probably have gone stale at some point. We ended on a high note.

Oh, and since last year, my spouse and I have been returning to physical media and have started buying and borrowing DVDs and Blurays again. Recently we watched a 2004 movie that has a scene in a DVD store and I just blurted out to my boyfriend that I miss going to one of those stores and browsing DVDs. Especially Blockbuster-type stores where you’d rent the DVD because they always had a bin with discarded films you could buy for super cheap. These days most of our DVD purchases take place online and it’s so boring. I miss going to a physical store with atmosphere and find some random movie I hadn’t seen before and it was almost free, it was that cheap. Axel Music and Moby Disc were my favourite stores and I totally took that experience for granted because silly me thought that stores like that would always be around. The closest I get to reliving this experience is when we go to the library to borrow movies. The DVD section is shoved away in a sad little corner in my library so it’s not really the same, but it’s still better than nothing at all. I don’t know what I’ll do if physical media is forcefully phased out after the boomer generation passes away. Dx

On the other hand, LPs have made a comeback so maybe there is hope yet.

I find it funny how all these tech guys all have the same soulless dead eyed stare. To the point where an AI generated portrait looks more human than them.