I am a white heterosexual cisman and I am constantly haunted by intrusive thoughts related to how I will perform or be perceived in bed.

Whenever I see depictions of gay - especially lesbian - relationships, I imagine the relationship being a lot less toxic, less detrimental to each other’s mental health and - most of all - less prone to performance related anxiety.[1]

Is this just prejudice[2] or is there some truth to it?

  1. I am fully aware of the hardships that homosexual people have to endure throughout their lives. This is an unrelated matter. ↩︎

  2. We all know how media and pornography paint a certain picture of homosexual relationships to serve heterosexual people. ↩︎

  • emotional_soup_88@programming.devOPEnglish
    2·
    11 days ago

    Do you feel like men and women can’t understand or extend empathy to the other in bed?

    Not consciously, I guess, but the mechanism of anxiety isn’t rational. If it was, I would have put the anxiety and questions like this behind me a long time ago.

    Homosexuals definitely have relationship-related and performance-related anxiety. Women worry about their body not responding (not getting wet) similarly to men worrying about their penis not getting hard.

    Right. Being potent and always ready for sex felt like a requirement specific to men, but I guess women are also subject to unreasonable norms related to performance and sexuality.