Me (13 years old at the time): Dad, Mom’s cheating on you. I saw her making out with this man.
Dad: Listen here, princess. The guy’s filthy rich, and when you have money, it’s normal to have a hot mistress like your mom.
Me: But aren’t you jealous?
Dad: laughs
I was flabbergasted, lmao.
Was your mom born in the first half of the 19th century? If you grew up with heroin as a cough medicine, taking meth for a cold suddenly sounds reasonable.